Marriage is a Marathon

Guest Writers Mark and Jan Yokers

Marriage is like a marathon. It is definitely not a sprint. When two people choose to become one, countless forms of bonding begin to take shape. These bonds are not built overnight. They are formed through shared joy, shared burdens, misunderstandings, forgiveness, and the steady choice to stay engaged. It takes a lifetime to build, nurture, and fully enjoy the relationship.

What a privilege — and responsibility — to build a life together. For some, that includes welcoming little souls into the world that didn’t exist before. For others, it means nurturing family, friendships, community, and shared purpose in different ways. However, as marriage unfolds, two very different people — often wired in opposite ways — are learning to move forward as one.

Marriage truly becomes a sacred classroom — one where we learn love, humility, patience, and selflessness. It shapes us, stretches us, and teaches us to care deeply beyond ourselves.

And yet, along the marathon route, there are stretches of strain. Every marriage experiences moments of rupture — times of disappointment, hurt, or disconnection. What we have learned over 56 years is this: the strength of a marriage is not measured by the absence of rupture, but by the commitment to repair.

Recently, our relatives lost their dream home in the California Palisades fire. Years of planning and hard work vanished in minutes. It was a devastating loss of both property and land. But instead of turning against each other in the face of tragedy, they turned toward one another. They chose strategy over despair. Partnership over blame. Hope over hopelessness. And today, they say they are in an even stronger place in their marriage and even in their new living circumstances.

That is the power of fighting for connection.

This is our testimony as well.

Over the years, we have learned to fight for our marriage rather than against each other. We have learned that when distance creeps in, the answer is not withdrawal but re-engagement. When misunderstandings arise, the goal is not to win but to understand. When hurt occurs, repair restores what rupture threatens to break.

We are more in love today than ever before — not because the journey has been easy, but because we stayed in the race together.

Marriage brings some of life’s greatest challenges — and it can also bring some of its greatest rewards. The energy invested, the humility practiced, and the dedication to the long haul are always worth it.

What an extraordinary journey marriage is.

Bon Voyage!

Mark and Jan