A Mother's Tribute, From One Mama of 6, to YOU

Mother’s Day can be either a beautiful day of celebration for many, or a day of mourning and loss for others. 

It might be a day of thanksgiving and gratitude for our mothers who cared and raised us, or a day of sadness for lost contact or failed parental connections.

Or it might be a day that many ignore because they have not chosen the life of motherhood or could not have children due to medical complications, infertility or failed relationships that would be desired to bring a child into the world with.

Wherever you find yourself on this journey of life or life-giving, I see you, and want to say that you are all worthy of being celebrated as women for your contributions to children around the world. You are mentors, teachers, aunts and sisters, guardians, friends, protectors, nurturers, and examples of strong women.

But for today, if I may, just reach out and talk to that mom who is struggling today. Whether fighting the battle alone for your children as a single mother and provider, or feeling alone in the discipline of caring and raising brave human beings, whether at home or away at work, I see you!

It's tough. Some days feel like Groundhog day. Endless laundry, endless meals to make, endless tantrums, dirty dishes, diapers to change, bottles to make, toys to clean up… the list is long… and will be waiting for you tomorrow if you didn't get to it today.

You’re tired. Running on lack of sleep, yet still expected to function on all cylinders because you feel the pressure to do it all. To be it all. To accomplish it all for them. You haven't slept a full night’s rest in decades, or maybe it feels like that. Naptime becomes precious, sacred time to regroup, unwind and recharge for the next battle.

And nothing can be said of the warrior mamas with children of special needs. Medical worries and endless doctor appointments. Behaviors and tantrums that feel almost like personal attacks, and neurological difficulties in trying to understand a child you love but is experiencing life in a different way, and you are desperate to make a connection. To make a difference.

You are emotionally exhausted! Because that one child who is exactly like you — or maybe the wilder side of you — might just be responsible for every gray hair on your head, and feels like they might be the death of you.

But what you don’t know and can not see yet, is that those beautiful spirits you brought into this world, whether by your own womb or by the womb of an angel who wanted a better life for their child, -what you can not see yet, is the beautiful person they will become because of your quiet sacrifices, hidden struggles and unknown heartaches.

Today, I think of my own mother, who raised 6 children, and as I grow wiser -hopefully- through raising 6 of my own children, (my oldest on the autism spectrum and the youngest with Down Syndrome,) I am in awe of the amazing things she sacrificed to teach me, and help me become who I am today.

If I may share one amazing experience that I have never truly appreciated until now in my late 40’s, but when I was in the 8th grade, our class was going to Washington D.C. for a history tour, and the cost was about $800-$1,000. My mom wanted me to raise the money and earn the trip myself… or so I thought. So she sent me around my neighborhood, to take orders for fresh homemade bread and cookies, and then for 6 weeks, I would help make them and deliver those orders and raise the money. 

I remember trying to keep track of their orders, from 'Wheat or White Bread,' 'Honey or Banana Bread,' and 'Chocolate Chip or Oatmeal Cookies." On the set date of delivery, my mom's kitchen was filled with dozens and dozens of loaves of handmade bread that she had baked herself for the past 2 days, and hundreds of cookies for me to plate and package and then deliver.

As a kid, it felt like I was doing all the work. 🩸 But as a mother now, I finally see the real work my mother was doing all along. ❤️ Making the dough the day before and then spending hours into the night and into the next day to be next to the hot oven and timer to cook all those cookies and bread. 🤯 And she did that again and again, week after week, until I had raised the amount needed for my trip. 😭😭😭😍

Looking back, I am sure she could have said to herself, “This isn’t worth my time or energy,” and it probably cost more to buy all the supplies and the time given that she could have just paid for the trip and saved money.

But the lesson she wanted me to learn was that of hard work, doing difficult things, and earning the trip so that I would appreciate the trip even more. And I did! It was life-changing for me, and is a trip I will never forget!

Now you may feel, as I do, that you are not up to the daunting task of such a generous amount of patience and time, and the best you can do is hold your baby a moment longer before your arms fall off, or to read that story again for the one-millionth time tonight - again! But you did it! 

And you will do it again tomorrow. 

But it matters!

And YOU matter! 

Your unseen sacrifices and love will carry and teach the next generation, and you will not see the wins of your battles until much, much later. (I mean, it took me getting to the age of several teenagers to remember and realize the gift of what my mom did for me!)

And one day, 🙏 hopefully, 🙏 your children will return in gratitude and awe for the unsung sacrifices that they couldn’t see or appreciate until they were adults, having children of their own and suddenly, and humbly understanding.

This Mother’s Day, I share that your worthwhile struggle IS worth it! 

Keep going -even with baby burp and food stains on your shirt- and wear it with pride! 

Being a mother is of the noblest and Holy Callings in life, and I am privileged to wear the badge of MOTHER as my defining identity!

Happy Mother’s Day to all you wonderful women!